Thursday, July 27, 2006

Another reason to love Wisconsin....

Or maybe it's just that we are just "average"...

CNN's story "
The most 'representative' state: Wisconsin" is another reason why Wisconsin shouldn't be considered solely a "fly-over land".

Looking for a state that is a microcosm of the whole country? You won't find it in Iowa or New Hampshire -- there are 25 states that come closer to average statewide measures on important characteristics such as race and income. ..... The Badger State comes closer than any other to state-by-state averages on 12 key measures, according to a new analysis by CNN Polling Director Keating Holland that takes a fresh look at U.S. Census data.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Freaking out

I've freaked out before. Like when I was in labor with Maddy, 36 hours cumulatively (thank you very much) with back labor and a fever, and was pushing for 2 hours. I freaked out. I was so sure there was never going to be an end.

Yesterday was different.

It wasn't like I hadn't had an MRI before. I don't remember whyI needed to have one, but it was right after Maddy was born. I did have meds to help me relax, and I was on my back - eyes closed, headphones on, listening to music. It wasn't horrible.

Yesterday was different.

I didn't have any time to really mentally prepare. I didn't have any meds to help me relax. I didn't think I needed them to have a scan of my elbow! And I wasn't on my back. I was as Superman - on my belly, right arm in a coil tube in front of me, head on a pillow to the left. Ok, it doesn't sound that bad, except my right arm doesn't easily extend out in front of me, the space inside the MRI machine was TINY TINY TINY and it was all I could do to find fresh air that was pumped inside the chamber. AND I couldn't have headphones on cuz they didn't fit inside the tube. So I had earplugs in, slightly dampening the noise of the monster machine.

I was told it was going to be about 40 minutes for the MRI to take the requisite scans. Ok. I told myself to start breathing slowly as I was inched into the space. I've studied yoga, practiced meditation, did lamaze, so I knew it was all mind over matter. I knew I could do it.

The machine started up the series of scans. Dear Barbara, the radiologist, let me know when each series started and for how long they were going to be. It was easy at first - one minute, 3 minutes, 2 1/2 minutes. Ok, I thought, not easy, in a bit of pain from the upper back to my finger tips, my head is not comfortable, and I'm face down into a pillow, trying to find a space to breath, but I'm ok. I was actually starting to enjoy myself, listening to the hums, the clicks, the whistles of the machine, finding the rhythm, enjoying the harmonics as they ascended and descended strange machine-made scales.

And then I freaked out. It happened during the longest of the series, a mere 6 minute scan. The wonderful rhythms and clicks changed drastically into a blanket of sound. I knew I was starting to lose it. I started to breath slowly, thinking to myself that it everything was alright, this set was about to end. Except it didn't end and I slowly found myself go crazy. I started crying silently, hoping for some miracle. And then it ended. Barbara asked if I was ok, and this time I said no. She and the nurse Dawn pulled me out for a breather. I was so amazed that I freaked out so, but Barbara and Dawn calmed me down, gave me some water and tissue or 3.

Dawn stayed in the room with me, at my side, touching my leg lightly. The power of touch grounded me and I finished with the next four scans.

So I freaked out. As I was laying in bed, trying to go to sleep, I had to push away that awful feeling in my head. It haunted me. I never want to do that again.

Now is the waiting game to hear from my doc to see about next steps. *sigh* I really don't want to go back to square one, but this pain is horrible. If they can do something about it now when I'm (relatively) young, then do it.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

ZAP

The kind Dr. W*** made me feel as comfortable as I could with electrodes and needles zapping my forearm and hand. I felt like Dr. Frankenstein's monster as my arm jumped wildly after a jolt, though I willed it to stay still. Haven't talked with the ortho doc yet, but I am bracing myself for the possibility of going back to square one. There does seem to be something blocking the ulna nerve at the elbow, where I broke it in February. Have my MRI tonight to see what the ligament looks like.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Feeling kind of...

....apprehensive. Getting the nerve conduction test done tomorrow to see if I still have a healthy ulna nerve. MRI on Tuesday to see if I still have a healthy ligament. Wish me luck please!

Friday, July 21, 2006

What a week....

Although my high school grades say otherwise, I appreciate science, math, and get engrossed by television shows about quantum physics and quantum mechanics. I don't understand any of it, but I appreciate it.

"W" has had a busy week ... groping Chancellor Merkel, encouraging the escalation of events in Israel and Lebanon, and now, using his veto power for the first time.

Annie, Katie and Ann at inkycircus.com (life in a girl nerd world) is a great science blog for women. Their recent blog about "W" says it well:

But the thing is that scientists do think. They are not evil geniuses, they are smart, curious, well-trained people trying to give you and me a better life. Cutting off their funding at source doesn't help them to see the error of their ways. It limits their power to change things, and to find cures and solutions and treatments. And it makes people like me a little pissed off. more....


Indeed it does...

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

some garden pictures!

(For more pictures, check my flickr account!)

Daisies! I love daisies!













Do you see the spaghetti squash?

















The monstrosity that is our vegetable garden in July!

Thursday, July 13, 2006

The ocean's depths

Anytime a tv show airs about the ocean's depths, I can't help but watch. I love watching humans witnessing the discovery of yet another species. The best part of our honeymoon in Negril, Jamaica, was participating in the scuba dive to 30'.

I just stumbled upon this link for the Scientific and Environmental ROV Partnership using Existing iNdustrial Technology" (SERPENT) project. There appears to be an Underwater Image Competition 2006. These pictures on the shortlist for 5 categories are absolutely beautiful! At first, I thought this particular image was fake.

Enjoy!

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Summer reading

So far this summer, I've read:
  • Anita Shreve's "The Pilot's Wife" (Well written - great story - reminded me of Desperate Housewives and Lost (he had a double life?!))
  • Ann-Marie Macdonald's "Fall on Your Knees" (As beautifully written as it was disturbing)
  • Neil Gaiman's "Sandman" series (again) (My yearly fix of this amazing graphic novel. One of a few books I continually re-read over. So many layers, themes, characters!)
Currently, I just started Lisa Gardner's "The Other Daughter" and I get to go pick up from ILL tonight a long awaited "Y: The Last Man".

PHEW

  • After two days in Madison and two days at the cottage, I'm POOPED! Maddy got a cold which thankfully lasted only 2 days with the ucky green nose goo, but is none-the-less chipper as usual!
  • I'm back at work, busy trying to figure out what I was on my list of things to do a week ago, when I was last in the office! EEK! :)
  • Heard about the asteroid that just missed Earth! Oh my! That was a bit close, huh?
  • I'm anxiously patiently waiting next Friday when I can talk with the ortho surgeon about what next for the arm.